What are Counselling Skills?

Some skills used by professional counsellors are similar to those used by anyone who listens carefully as part of their working role, or relationship. These skills include:

• creating a warm and genuine relationship – sometimes referred to as ‘rapport’ –  in which a person feels accepted, without judgement, whatever is said

• giving  a person full attention, actively listening and being mindful of what the client is communicating, verbally and non-verbally

• making clear any ambiguous or generalised statements

• showing attention and some understanding by putting what the individual says into the counsellor’s words

• summarising some key issues that need attention, and promoting the exploration of these themes in order that the client can see some options for action.

A core counselling value is that counselling skills are used consciously to support the individual’s decision-making or feeling better, without the counsellor imposing his or her own view on what the client should do or even feel. This is in contrast to what a parent or good friend might do.

For example, as a parent, you may help your child in many ways; these include giving encouragement, providing unconditional love, giving money, being generous, creating laughter, practising discipline, giving ‘tough love’, and always being available.

As a good friend, you can offer loyalty, standing up for another person, honesty, money-lending, being fun to be with, sharing, occasional disagreements, availability and opinions.

In contrast, a counsellor will provide a safe space in which thoughts can be expressed  openly, without fear of judgement, opinions or advice.

It is important that the person will feel responsible for his or her own choices (as opposed to heeding another person’s advice in a passive way).  There may be no shortage of advice, platitudes and opinions by those people in the life of the client. However, a person with counselling skills will uniquely empower the client by facilitating a process of positive change. This relationship exists specifically for this, and does not stray into other roles.

What counselling is not

The word ‘counselling’ is sometimes used loosely to describe other activities. These include:

1. in schools, ‘counselling’ can be considered as ‘advice’ or even ‘instructions’ – with the aim of helping a person find the best course or job.

2. ‘debt counselling’ is a term used to describe the advice given to people who receive financial help by suggesting budgeting plans, or paying off debts by making regular small payments.

3. in some settings such as the armed forces, the word ‘counselling’ is used to indicate that punitive measures are being taken against an individual who has been found to have committed a wrongdoing.

Counselling is not an opportunity for a counsellor to share personal experiences of and solutions for similar problems or preferred solutions for others.

If you are interested in exploring the subject of using counselling skills, you may wish to check out the Counselling courses available at the Academy for Distance Learning. There are also eBooks on the subject.

Star Wars and the Hero’s Journey

Since its debut in 1977, few stories have become quite as iconic and well-known as the adventures of Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, Princess Leia and more in the modern era.  Grown men and women could be seen in their thousands in front of cinemas around the globe dressed as Jedi, Stormtroopers and other recognized characters from the films.  Few franchises have inspired quite the same interest for so long.

In many ways, Star Wars is a mythology for our time.  Like the Iliad, Beowulf, the stories of King Arthur and more, it had entered the collective consciousness of our civilization far beyond what could have been imagined back in the ’70s when it first came out.  Even people who have never seen it can tell you that Darth Vader is Luke Skywalkers father and will understand many of the well-known quotes the movies have spawned.

One Myth to Rule Them All: The Monomyth.

Star Wars, in literary terms, is often regarded as an example of the monomyth. Also known as the Hero’s Journey is a common narrative template for stories that involve a hero going off on an adventure, winning a victory and then coming home changed.  Joseph Campbell first proposed it in his book The Hero with a Thousand Faces who described the basic pattern as being:

“A hero ventures forth from the world of common day into a region of supernatural wonder: fabulous forces are there encountered, and a decisive victory is won: the hero comes back from this mysterious adventure with the power to bestow boons on his fellow man”.

As his book was published in 1949, Campbell was obviously not writing with a galaxy far, far away in mind.  Indeed, he wrote more about legendary figures such as Jesus and Buddha in describing the narrative that surrounded them.  But subsequent generations of writers have found his ideas to be a useful template when constructing their own stories.

The Hero’s Journey Through the Star Wars Mythos

Throughout the Star Wars saga, we can see elements of the traditional monomyth over and over again. For example, Luke Skywalker, a farm boy from a boring, mundane planet, receives the call to adventure when the Droid R2D2 arrives, bearing an urgent message from a Princess for the ears of the wise old Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Forced to join Obi-Wan after the evil empire kills his relatives, the old man becomes a wise mentor and helper to the hero, teaching him the ways of the mystic Force. Leaving his home, they travel into space on their quest, where they are thrust into the terrifying and fantastic world of the Death Star.  Throughout the original trilogy and the prequels, examples of the hero’s journey are in abundance.

For writers, understanding the monomyth is another helpful tool when telling stories.  It both provides a framework to help build narratives around.  Yet by building certain “rules” around how a story should be told, it provides an opportunity for storytellers to break them and create a more interesting narrative by turning aspects of the expected story on their head. For example, perhaps due to what they’ve seen and done, the hero can never go home.  Or the mentor, instead of being a wise source of knowledge and counsel instead is abusive and plans to betray the hero all along.

As always, whether writing for the screen, stage or novel, it’s always a good idea to learn new tricks for your toolbox, whether you find them in a book or in a galaxy far, far away.